Chijindu Apam

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Chijindu Apam
Saturday 3 October 2020


I sit, focusing on the visible space
Scanning through the pages of my mind
Just to find NOTHING
Though I might have felt the presence of a creepy hollow

Within the space, comes a a life replay
Episodes of wavy screams and fear
I hear the life-sucking whispers and wish to grab reality
But my day keeps setting like the sun

There exist this still coldness within
Slowly stirring my imaginations to explosions
I doubt I carved the traps I stand in!
I doubt I sneaked up on myself!

I sit still, tearing and sweating fruitlessly
I sit still, gasping for air fruitlessly
I sit still, ripping my throat fruitfully.
I appear comfortable to the constant lose to the battle of minds.

Cause my control comes beyond my reach
Cause my control bites from within
Cause my control goes for the pillars
Cause my control comes from THE VOID


Chijindu Apam
Wednesday 12 August 2020

The Architect

I stand opposed to the mirror

And I see a victor of me

I see a tyrant that haunts me

And I can not seem to forgive myself for letting it

I am the help I cannot seek

I create monstrous reflection

My thoughts cuts a diamond deep

In my sorrows and fluids, drown

The mirror shows me a demon

The maker of the anguish I perish in

The reflection puts an in my heart

I orchestrate my life ordeals

My hate is enough for me

Enough to drain my core of it's energy

Enough to make me want to give up

Enough to make a dead ant stronger

I collapse under my weight

I cannot blame the mirror

I cannot battle the reflection

Cause I am the architect of my own misfortune.


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