Churchill Emmanuel

Biography: Miscellaneous Mind | Revised Perfectionist |Lyrical Misfit 🎶📝| Bars Bender 🍫🎼 => deBugger;

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Churchill Emmanuel
Tuesday 30 June 2020

SENTIMENTS (A HEART OF BOLD)

Detachment from sentiments
It's not easy I must confess

Pressures all around me everyday trying to compress

I'm getting really fed up no longer trying to impress

 

"High expectations" from me to be a superhuman
And if I don't all I get is fearful threats

Well like I said before, spear me the sentiments
Let's be rational and quit flaunting your intelligence

 

Yeah it's me, your autistic child
I'm sorry but with all these crazy situations
I can't help but to go wild

 

I'm sick and tired of all these money threats
telling me stories of how you hustled your way through college tell me what's next?

You gonna abandon me like you did to Didi and mum?


If that's the case then life itself would be more fun

At least I'll learn to look to the sun (son)
Our father who art in heaven till His Kingdom Come!

 

Don't worry I've forgiven you already for everything you've done and you'll ever do

It wasn't easy though but there's nothing God can never do

 

I know I've always got laughed at and ridiculed but

At the end I'll own the show while they all sit down and watch

 

I take no credit, I never did it own my own
But why expecting me to worry since My Father has always been sitting on The Throne.

 

You said it yourself you're the caretaker not the landlord

One of them is the potter while the other the mud

 

All these years one thing I learnt is to survive
I know you broke them records but I'm about to disrupt the archives of History
I discovered life's mysteries


Finally realized that life works the other way round
well that's just a mystery
Momma, "look at what I found!"

 

You should know by now, all these "fools gold" ain't nothing to me
I still gonna sign that 100 million dollar cheque and it will still mean nothing to me

 

 

It's not about the bank account it's about the state of mind
I finally found the treasure chest you said was impossible to find


Bat Zombie, I'm no longer walking blind
I couldn't trust my sight anymore so I had to look into God's mind

[13/03/19] 



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Churchill Emmanuel
Tuesday 30 June 2020

RANDOM FORCE OF EMOTIONS (LOST SOUL)

It's funny how we all perceive ourselves
It's barely accurate and sometimes we deceive ourselves.

How do you see yourself?

 

Who the hell do you think you are?

You wanna raise the standards and
you wanna raise the bar?

You wanna make big money and
pull up in a fancy car?

 

Maybe I should ask myself the same thing.

These days my mind's wrapped up thinking randomly about many things

From problems to wedding rings
to wondering why the alarm rings.

From accomplishments to flaws
grateful I never ended up mopping floors.

 

Miscellaneous minds everywhere all around
some loud some don't make a sound.

Noises everywhere, I feel like loosing it
substances everywhere sometimes I feel like abusing it.

 

On fire - I'm feeling lit
In front of the crowd - I'm feeling the (hit) heat
So hungry - I'm feeling meaty
Strange desires - I'm feeding it
Computers - Always killing it
With all the blessing's around me
yet I still feel like I'm illicit.

(God damn!)

 

Somehow I still find a way to survive
I've gone a long way from working with sadness and playing with knives.

What's the meaning of life?
What's the purpose of existence?
What's the price for persistence?

 

All these years in search for the answers

Sorrows multiplying like cancer

May have ended in jail

Locked up if I had bypassed protocols to enter the mail

 

Never looked for trouble but I think it found me
"go ahead... go get wasted, I beseech thee"
That's what the voices in my head keep saying to me

I looked her (the voice) in the face and tried to say no
Never knew trees like big consequences were from tiny seeds like nano

 

Somehow I keep escaping the dungeon like a prison break
"maybe we should take a break... "
"let's wait for his soul to ache... "  

(- the voices)

 

Forces of Resistance all around me

My mind became a stage for the Brownian Motion

Strange feelings, open meditations

Life isn't fair so I tried to bleach(mask) my emotions

 

Deep passions, shallow confidence
I've got great competence but with no evidence

The residence admire my diligence
but in-house they desire my deliquesce

 

After all this years I finally met the Infinite Intelligence

I ran to Him with all my sentiments and foolishness

My confidence - restored
My Vision - unblurred
My gifts - now available in stores

And all these and many more happened at the end

'cause the kid met who he was and a friend

 

I AM did it!

[03/03/19] 



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